I believe in Angels – not only in Heaven but on earth as well. I have met a few in my lifetime but the ones important to my bittersweet reunion story include my beautiful birth daughter, who was born in December 41 years ago. I was barely 16 when she was born and I was given one precious hour with her alone. I will never forget the overwhelming feelings of unconditional love and concern that I had for her and the shattering grief I also felt in giving her up for adoption, although I was told it was the best thing I could do for her. I was then told to “forget about it” and go on with my life, as if this had never happened. For the last 41 years I have wondered how anyone could possibly think that I could forget about my precious daughter! I may have been a child myself in many ways when I became pregnant, but I grew up very fast when I was told that her birth records would be sealed and I would NEVER be able to find out what happened to her, and that I should never try.

I believed that myth until the late 1980’s when I learned that there were adoption search groups. HOPE sprung alive and a joyous sense of what had seemed impossible previously. I began my search then, but resources were limited and it wasn’t until the Internet was in full bloom in the mid-1990’s that I began my search in earnest. I joined registries, online chat rooms, enlisted the help of search angels (who eventually gave up on me) and essentially searched in vain, with few results, until my other Angel, Patricia Morrison, contacted me in 2005 and offered to help me. My search was a difficult and challenging one, but Patricia diligently followed every avenue, never gave up, supported me through disappointments, and we laughed about it often, because most of her searches take a few days at most. Finding my daughter became a mission for Patricia! Her dedication and diligence paid off and in June 2006, Patricia found my Sally. She had resided 40 miles away from me! Patricia was also able to find Sally’s birthfather (that only took about 45 minutes)!

Unfortunately Sally was killed in an automobile accident in April 2005. The shock and grief I experienced was unimaginable. Since then, Sally’s brother has talked to me at length about Sally, and through those talks I’ve learned how much alike in temperament and personality we were. Our interests and career paths were remarkably similar. In fact, the similarities are almost eerie! I learned she was a very kind, loving, nurturing, compassionate and giving person. Sally had an Angel’s Spirit and a love for life. The irony is that though Sally’s birthfather and I went our separate ways after Sally’s birth, and eventually we both married other people, neither of us had another child. Sally never had children either. I do know that Sally expressed an interest to her brother in finding us after her parents died and wanted to develop a close relationship with us, if possible. Her brother believes, without question, that Sally and I would have had a loving reunion and become very close.

Despite learning so much about her, the total loss of hope for reunion clung to me like a shroud for quite some time. But God works in ways we cannot always understand. In the last few months, I have shifted my thinking about this experience. I indeed have had a reunion with Sally, through my discussions with her brother and a conversation with her birthfather. I know her life story, with its ups and downs and what she valued. She lives on in my heart and one day we will be reunited in Spirit. While I mourn the loss of what could have been had she lived, I believe life is to be lived at the fullest and that Sally would want me to celebrate her life as well as her passing. Whatever she was meant to accomplish on earth, she did.

And through Patricia’s God-given mission, I have been given an opportunity to reach out to others and offer counseling to those very few who may have experienced some pain in their reunion experiences. It is a blessing in my life to help others, and a way I can honor Sally’s life.

Barbara

In Memory of Sally